Dreaming Again
by losingmymind3696
Summary: Once shot Based after 'You are always on my mind.' Chuck thinks about Jenny and everything involving their relationship. Lyrics from Jim Croce song. Chuck Bass & Jenny Humphrey


It didn't take Chuck long to realize that Jenny was gone for good. He wished she would've just told him the truth. If she had things would be different. They could have at least tried to remain friends and he would feel different. Now he was just lonely and depressed all the time. He was drinking more than normal and barely sleeping. When he did sleep his dreams were filled with Jenny. Chuck had never felt this kind of loneliness in his life.

_**Don't you know I had a dream last night  
That you were here with me  
Lying' by my side so soft and warm  
And we talked a while  
And shared a smile  
And then we shared the dawn  
But when I woke up  
Oh my dream it was gone**_

Chuck climbed into his bed hoping for a peaceful sleep but he knew it wouldn't happen. He closed his eyes and saw only black. His mind began to fade and he sank into a deep sleep.

_Chuck climbed out the limo and held out his hand. Jenny grabbed it smiling. She was beautiful. She followed him quietly into the Palace and into his room. They got into bed but unlike most nights they didn't make love. They didn't need to this time. They only needed each other. _

"_Want to know something?" Chuck asked as he wrapped his arm slowly around Jenny._

"_What?" She asked. "Does it have to do with me being so perfect?" She giggled. _

"_You already know that so I don't need to mention it." He said kissing her forehead lightly. "I wanted to let you know that I am completely in love with you." _

"_Chuck Bass however much that is I am in love with you more." She said looking at him. She stared into his eyes and could see his whole soul. No one knew Chuck like she did, no one saw him like this. No one would ever know what they had. _

"_I don't think that's possible." Chuck said. _

"_Trust me. It is. And since I am always right you have no opinion." Jenny smirked._

"_You're taking charge?" Chuck asked raising his eyebrow. _

"_You need someone to keep you in check." Jenny answered shrugging. _

"_I could get used to that." Chuck laughed. _

_They continued talking as the light began to shine into the room. _

"_What time is it?" Jenny asked concerned. _

"_Relax, its only 5:15." Chuck answered. _

"_I was supposed to be home 5 hours ago." Jenny said and began to get up. _

"_Hold on, I want to show you something." Chuck said grabbing her hand. _

_They walked into the hallway and through the fire escape door. They walked up two flights of stairs and there was a big red door. Chuck pushed it open and stepped outside. It was the roof of the palace. _

"_Chuck I don't like this idea." Jenny said paranoid at the height. _

"_Don't worry." He said pulling her away from the door. "Trust me." He walked her over to the center. "Look that way." He pointed to in front of them. _

_The sun was beginning to rise and it was beautiful. Jenny sat down in amazement. She had never seen it so perfect before. Chuck sat next to her smiling. _

"_Wow, it's amazing." She said. "It's perfect." _

_Chuck stared at her. "I know." He said. _

_They watched it until it had risen completely and then went back to his room. They got back into the bed and soon fell asleep. _

Chuck sat up, he looked to his side and it was empty. Of course it had been a dream. Jenny wasn't coming back and the sooner he realized that the better.

**Don't you know I had a dream last night  
And you were here with me  
Lying' by my side so soft and warm  
And you said you'd thought it over  
You said you were coming home  
But when I woke up  
Oh my dream it was gone**

Chuck walked out the school building. He heard Nate calling him but he ignored him. He didn't need to deal with him now. He didn't need to deal with anyone but himself now. He got into his limo and told the driver where to go.

When the limo stopped Chuck stepped out and looked at the view of New York. It was perfect, he felt his memory coming back strong. He had avoided this spot since Jenny but now he needed to be here. His dream of Jenny last night had been so real he needed to feel anything, something again. He just needed to feel his inside warm again. He sat on the bench and took in a deep breath.

He pulled out his cell phone. He had been thinking about this for sometime and knew now was the only time he could do it. He carefully dialed the numbers that Dan had given him, which had been difficult. Dan had always hated Chuck but Dan knew how much Chuck really cared Jenny.

Chuck felt completely shut off from the world as the ringing on the other end echoed through his ear. He just needed to talk to her, to convince her of what he felt. He needed her back home.

"Hello?" A perky voice said into the end. Chuck felt his hands begin to sweat and his chest felt swollen. His voice seemed to escape his lips. "Hello?" She said annoyed now.

"Jenny?" Chuck managed his voice sounding small.

"Chuck?" She replied in a whisper. "Chuck how did you get my-"

"It doesn't matter." Chuck interrupted, he needed to speak. "I just need you to really listen to me now. Jenny I love you more than anything and I need you with me here."

"Chuck I can't do this now, I really can't." She said quieter than before.

"I just need you tell me why you lied?" Chuck said wanting the truth.

"If I told you the truth I knew you would this and I can't deal with it. I needed to be here not in New York." Jenny answered.

"I could've waited for you." Chuck said. "I would wait for years for you Jenny as long as you promised to come back to me. You're worth it Jenny."

"Chuck I don't need you waiting for me, I can't have you waiting for me." She said.

"I had a dream last night and you came home, you came back and it was so real." He said smiling. "I felt like you were with me again."

"Chuck please I'm busy and this too much now." She said and Chuck heard another voice. It was a voice too deep to be a girl. "Can you just call later?" Jenny asked.

"I don't-" Chuck lost this voice again and the whole world around him was quiet. All he could hear was how hard his heart was pounding in his chest. How could Jenny spend time with another guy but not even talk to him on the phone. "I don't think I can." Chuck said and hung up.

**I'm not the same  
Can you blame me  
Is it hard to understand  
I can't forget  
You can't change me  
I am not that kind of man**

Chuck somehow managed to get into the Palace without causing too much commotion. He fell onto his bed. His eyes were heavy and he fell asleep almost instantly. All he saw was black. As he slept not even the thought of Jenny entered his mind only blackness took over.

He began to hear beeping and low talking. He heard yelling and then whispering. He heard his father and Nate. He heard everyone talking. Chuck knew he had wake up now, he had to face everything. He eyes slowly opened and the talking stopped.

He looked around and saw he wasn't in his bed. He was in a white room surrounded by people.

"Chuck are you okay man?" Nate asked looking at him seeming relieved.

"What…where am I?" Chuck asked confused looking at everyone.

"Charles you gave yourself alcohol poisoning." His father said firmly. "If it wasn't for Serena going to your room earlier you would've died."

Chuck looked at Serena and he suddenly felt angry. Her blonde hair reminded him of Jenny. Her big smile and her honest eyes, it was too much for him to look at. He turned away. "Thanks a lot." He said trying to not sound disappointed.

"Chuck you can't keep drinking like this." Eric said from the back where he was. Eric looked up to Chuck and was worried about how Chuck had been the past couple weeks.

"Can I just be alone?" Chuck asked now trying to sit himself up properly.

"Chuck you have a problem." Nate said when no one else wanted to say it.

"Alright I got it, can you all leave now?" Chuck asked.

"Chuck you need to get help, for real this time." Blair said honestly.

"Thanks for the advice but I just need to be alone now, please." Chuck said begging.

"Jenny wants you to call her." Serena said. "I told her you were here." Serena said handing him the phone. "Let's go." She said to everyone and they walked out slowly.

Chuck dialed and waited for her to answer. "Hello?" She asked into the phone.

"What do you want Jenny?" Chuck asked bitterly.

"Chuck I need you to understand that I never meant to-"

"Understand that you can spend time with some other guy but can't even tell me the truth?" he asked angrily.

"Chuck its not like that you should know that. I always loved you more than you know."

"Well you could've fooled me lately." He said which hurt him more than Jenny. Talking to her like this hurt him more than she could understand.

"Chuck I needed to leave, I needed to be with my mom for a little while." Jenny said. "Look that's not even why I wanted to talk to you."

"What do you want then?" Chuck asked still angry and hurt.

"I need you stop drinking, you can't do this to yourself anymore." She said. "When Serena called me I was so scared, I thought you died." Her voice cracked.

"Well that doesn't sound so bad to me right about now."

"Don't talk like that." Jenny ordered. "Chuck I need you to stop, I can't-"

"Jenny you couldn't change me when you were here what makes you think you can change me now?" Chuck asked. "I'm not that kind of person. I can't just change whenever I feel like it." He stated.

"You are going to end up killing yourself." She whispered softly.

"Well maybe it's what I want." He said before hanging up. The phone rang a few more times but he didn't answer. He stayed in his bed until he was so tired he had to sleep.

**Don't you know I had a dream last night  
And everything was still  
And you were by my side so soft and warm  
And I dreamed that we were lovers  
In the lemon scented rain  
But when I woke up  
Oh I found that again, I had been  
Dreaming, dreaming again  
I had been dreaming, dreaming again**

_Jenny laughed as the rain came down harder. Her hair was completely soaked and Chuck was upset. _

"_Don't be such a prude." She said giggling and shoving him._

"_I'm wet and it's cold." He said. "I told you this was a bad idea but no you never want to listen to me." _

"_Relax Bass." Jenny said. "It's just a little rain. Rain never killed anyone before." She said spinning. _

"_I saw the city its nice can we at least start walking back, since you decided it would be better to just walk up here." He said and began to walk._

"_No not yet." She said grabbing his arm. "Let's stay for a while longer." _

"_You're going to get sick." He said. _

"_Don't worry about me." She said pulling him to her._

_"I'm going to get sick." He said._

_"__Would you just stop and live in the moment for once." She said smiling_

"_It's still cold though." He said._

"_Let's keep each other warm." She said smirking and kissing him. _

"_You are a bad girl Jenny Humphrey." He said smiling._

"_Well I learned from the best." She said holding him closer._

"_What if someone sees us?" He asked._

"_No one is out here in the cold rain first off and second who cares?" She said and kissed him again._

"_Fine but you owe me for this one." He said giving into her commands. _

Chuck sat up sweating. He looked at the clock it was only 4.

He shook his head and felt his eyes begin to tear up. He took a deep breath and decided not to feel anymore.

Jenny was gone and the sooner he accepted that the better he would be. He could no longer dream about her, he didn't care if his dreams were only black as long as Jenny was not in them he could live. He laid back down and wiped his eyes.

He felt his heart go back to a normal pace. He was never going to be able to sleep now. He decided to go for a walk. He wondered down the hospital halls. Takings rights and lefts without paying attention, he was soon lost.

As he realized he was had no idea what to do next he felt relieved. He felt different. If Jenny could leave and deal with it so could he. He had been dealt worse in his life. After all he was Chuck Bass and no matter what Jenny did he would always be Chuck Bass.


End file.
